SIBKL @Sg Buloh Sermons

You heard ‘em, so let’s get cracking. It’s ok if you haven’t started. We can all start together. Just take a mo and think about it.

You done? What do you mean you don’t know what to think about? It’s right there in the visual. Think about cheese. For example, I was thinking about a salty, sharp cheddar grated over spaghetti tossed in olio. Or a crumbly fetta cheese generously topping a Greek salad. Or a thick, nutty slice of emmanthal… what? What do you mean it doesn’t say cheese? It says right there in bright cheese-yellow “think about-" oh. Oh. Oops

We have a feast this week, guys. Ayam goreng berempah, nasi kukus... wait, the phone is ringing.

Hello? What? Ya I know. I was setting it up. Ha? No ayam goreng? Oh ok. Alright.

We have a feast this week, guys. We have nasi lemak bungkus. But better than nasi lemak bungkus is globally acclaimed nasi new testament scholar, Pauline expert berempah, and Holy Land veteran kukus. Yes, we have Rev Lim Kar Yong preaching on Philippians like your pastor can't, cos he's not a published academician and also cos he's on the phone with me telling me to say this. Amen hallelujah.

The opposite of "Unite, Rejoice, Pray" is "Split, Get Angry and Complain". And on paper, none of us would choose it, ever. The moral of the story, of course, is we should all live on paper.

Antara inspirational quotes yang I paaaaling suka is from the movie Good Will Hunting, masa si Robin Williams tu berkata "Seize the goal".

Errr, I think you salah sikit, kak. Dead Poet's Society kot?

Apatu?

Movie salah kak. But anyway go on.

Ya ok watever. That quote memang baaanyak tolong kakak utk seize my goals.

That's good, kak. But ya, I think quote tu pun salah sikit, kak.

Apatu?

I believe it's "Seize the day", kak. Carpe diem. Bukan "seize the goal". Seize the goal tu tangkap tiang gol.

Memang. You dunno ke? Dari dulu kakak main bola, I play as penjaga gol. You don't pandang rendah kakak. That is how I block all the top corner free kick. Kakak fikirkan Good Will Hunting, pastu kakak seize the goal. Pandai kan?

Listen up, class. Today we're going to learn about the dual-entry system in accounting. Imagine your company buys a box of chocolates in cash, say for RM10. You will record this into your cash account ledger as credit RM10. Conversely, you will record it in your assets ledger as-

 

Teacher, why are chocolates assets? Don't they lose value immediately upon use?

Not if you don't eat them.

But why would a company buy chocolates and not eat them?

Sigh. So, some chocolates you buy them and let them appreciate in value before you sell it. For a profit. Some other chocolates are speculated on but that's futures and that's only in next year's syllabus.

But teacher...

Where was I? Profit, yes. So let's say in ten years, your company sells that box of chocolates for RM20,000 to a collector. You record this in what we call a G&L.

Sorry teacher, isn't it P&L?

No, it's not. And stop interrupting before I finish. It's G&L. Gains & Losses.

Oh look! An Instagram post with the words "Worth Dying For". Surely this has to be about fried chicken, cos those things are just absolutely... But actually, if you think about it, how do you eat the fried chicken if you die for the chance to eat it? Bongggg! So actually, if you really enjoyed the fried chicken, then TO the chicken, YOU are worth dying for. Ahahahah. Which reminds me, we just got an email from the Brussels Sprout Clan Association dealing with this precise issue. Lemme read it for you.

 

"Dear Sg Buloh church people. Please tell your fellow humans that it has come to our attention what faces you make when our dead show up on your table. We don't appreciate such looks. Show us more love or we will stop our friends from dying for you."

 

Ouch. How should I reply? "Dear Brussels Sprout Clan Association. Noted."

When my dad was growing up, people used to say Elvis is king. But when I was growing up, they would say cash is king. I asked my dad what that meant and he told me he’s more of a Willie Nelson kinda guy. I was like, errr whut?? Then I grew up and realised he thought I meant Johnny Cash, the country singer. Ok, generational gap. Nvm. Then two years ago, someone told me Charles is king. I was like, oh change again ah? Who is this Charles? Must be some hip-hop bling rapper. Anyway, I’m thinking of this because today, one of my pastors told me Humility is king. I was like wah, they really expanded the definition of kings to include women named after virtues. Like, I once met pair of twins named Charity and Chastity. And I had a classmate called Hope. And my cousin married a girl called Serene. I wonder if they try hard enough, one day they get to be king too.

What a special occasion to have Pr Lee Choo share the word of God with us. Take in this message, which is both timely and evergreen all at once.

So I’ve been telling my friends that there’s power in the tongue for life. Proverbs eighteen twenty-one. So they should speak life and not speak death. But there’s just so much negativity with them. I really think the devil’s got them in a hold. Lemme show you our chats:

 

Me with my man Jay

Jay: Dude, I'm just dying for a cold drink now.

Me: Bro, don't speak death.

Jay: Dude...

 

And this is me with Trey

Trey: Man, their midfield was just killin it.

Me: Bro, don't speak death.

Trey: -_-

And last one, this is Haley

Haley: My great grandmother died in 1976.

Me: Yo, you shouldn't speak death over your great grandma.

Haley: Dude she's dead.

Me: No, I'm serious. Proverbs eighteen.

 

Nvm. I'm praying for them. In fact, I'm speaking life over them right now.

Welcome to the Good Kinda Jail, where the stench reeks, the air is heavy, everywhere is dark and horrible and the humans are best avoided. Yes, we’ve found ourselves elegantly dropped into a Roman prison cell in First Century AD. Which is great, cos we could be out and free and useless, but we’re not. (*lights match) Now, let’s set something on fire.