SIBKL @Sg Buloh Sermons

Message from our Malaysia Day service, 2024. This was also the closing of our 40 Days of Fast & Pray, and was part of a Worship Encounter Weekend.

Strap up, don’t lurch. The church on a perch. One half in a dirge, while the other buys merch. Head decision, heart incision and feet in new fission from fiery perdition. From doctrinal precision to Ephesian derision, some engage with the stage like proto-Eurovision. In the scriptures, revision. In the practice, cohesion. And in the willy-nillies, you quit circumcision. Blend or get blended? Ask he who sends. Just endure till the end while you go to the ends.

Asian? Fesyen? Tak dengar abang. Pls louder sikit. Vay-shen? You want me to jual benda tu? But what is it? Ya la of course you will say very good. But what does it do? Ever-apa? Everlasting life? Vayshen tu kasi everlasting life? Abenda tu? Happiness forever? Oh I paham. Like that Mariah Carey song, apatu? You always be part of me. I part of you definitely. Apa? In definitely? Salah English bang. Definitely. So anyway, benda tu yang I spatut jual, apanama dia? Vayshen. Ok boleh. I cuba. I try my best to sell Vayshen.

Welcome back to our 40 Days Fast & Pray Pun Championships. We are in the semifinal round with two incredible match-ups. In the top half of the draw, we have the wildcard “Break Fast Mee Racle” up against 2-time former champion “2 Fast 2 Few Us”. And in the bottom half of the draw, we’ve got the underdog “Doa Lip” facing the tournament favourite “Fai di, dey. Faster Pray”.

 

It’s gonna be some incredible matchups, Bob. Can’t wait to see them battle it out. You’re right, Joe. These guys, they fight on their knees. Right on, Bob. And only one of em’s gonna see a victory. Totally, Joe. Yknow, I’m gonna be right there on the front row for the both semifinal matches. So will I, Bob. A hundred million times.

Hari Ini Dalam Sejarah? Awak generasi apa pulak? Aku? Aku generasi MTV Rewind beb. Oldskool tapi tak oldskool sampai awak. What? This week kita buat Rewind? Kejap beb. Aku check…

 

Ok confirm this week ialah Rewind. Lagi ada “anatomy enemy kingdom”. Mana ku tau? Bukan Bio beb. Sejarah. Ah-ah, memang. Enemy kingdom, kerajaan musuh lah tu. Betttul. Kat RTM. Ah-ah.

 

Now that ☝️🏼right there is a phone conversation we overheard twenty-five years ago between two Gen X slackers discussing 80s 90s Malaysian TV. Their telephonic transcript was carefully preserved by the Arkib Negara and has most recently gone on to inspire our pastor to craft this weekend’s sermon. Wait, lemme fact-check something…

 

Ok sorry, wrong info. This week’s sermon, I’m now told, is inspired by the Bible.

Preeeet!! Off the pitch now. Into the locker room for the gaffer's team talk.

 

Finally! Half time for 2024. (A bit much stoppage time if you ask me, but it is what it is.) How are we doing? Any injuries? Everyone back alive or we lost some folks out there? How did we do? We stick to plan? Gone off course? Any unplanned-for crises? You and you, you need to up the intensity. You're taking it too easy, the whole year is running away from you. You, you and you, you need to take it down. You're gonna hurt someone going at everything like that. And two of you. Too far apart! You're not tracking each other...

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Someone once asked me what pastors fantasise about. We finally managed to steal into our new SP's head and this was what we saw. Hahaha. Dude's such a nerd.

This Sunday is install new member day? Nice. I like day like this. I remember when I was teenager time, hear the word "install" means come home from Imbi Plaza with new computer game on 1.44MB floppy disks. I tell you, some of those game need three or four disks to install. And because it's from the ciplak shop, sometimes sure one of those disks is corrupted. Then the whole game cannot install. "Insert Disk 3 and click continue." "This disk cannot be read." Wah piang eh, angry teenager in 1990s is all from corrupted floppy disk. That time Jesus haven't save me. Heart still full of hate for unscrupulous game shop man in Imbi Plaza. Lucky now install member no need to insert any disk. Just need Jesus in your heart. Fuhhh. Liddat oso can, I oso wan. Pastor, count me in. Insert me into member list and click continue.

People tell me before that house of God all have many story. Sure boh? Big church of cos lah got many story. But I've been to your Sg Buloh church before. I know you're in a basement. Only one story. No, no, no. No need to explain. I understand. No, no, no. All this different spelling is all no need wan. I'm actually very fast with these things. One look only, straight can tell. Your church is basement. Only one story.

Last time when I was in school, I had member everywhere. No matter where I go, this fella my member, that fella my member. You don’t have meh? You don’t re-member meh? (Wah piang, pun so lousy today.) Anyway, I find it very interesting that things don’t changed. Cos last week, my church tell me they also want me to be their member. Can, brother. I do before many times. No problem.

 

 

The Goodfather II? The one starring Pal Acino a/l Barlon Mrando? Oh you do make an offer I can't refuse!

 

It's Father's Day weekend, my friends. And we have 500 sticks of satay, ayam goreng berempah and masak lemak nenas ikan masin (whuuutt!!). Throw in three dads eating keropok sharing war and gore stories and it'll get so hot, you'll wonder what happened to the salad.

Answer: the kerabu mango sleeps with the fishes.