SIBKL @Sg Buloh Sermons

Oh look! A neo-classical skyscraper drowned by cataclysmic rising tides! And we’re only at the start of the Bible.

This week, we’re going from demigod daughters to fatal floodwaters, an ark in showers and arcane towers to the first global sin tax which brings on new syntax, where wet Ararat threat begets regret-reset. (Ouch, that was a bit mouch.)

Adam: That's not what it said. The snake said "Ah, my dream home, Eden".

Eve: I heard it say "A mandarin, go eat 'em"

Adam: Great. So now we've wrecked thousands of years of human existence and it's all because of your lousy hearing.

Eve: You're out of your mind. I don't even wear ear rings!

Anyway, it went on like this for a while before I told them it was awkward getting caught in the middle of their marital fight. Plus, I don't know how to help. I'm only a caribou.

At which point Eve stormed off and said she ain't never gonna carry her boo either. I'm like, girl, whut?

In the beginning, everything was heavy. Then God said, Let there be lite. And oh boy was the lite good.

You don't know about the lite? It's what happened when we cut the excess weight from creation. So where it used to be 4.54 billion years old it's now just 10 thousand! Fuuhhh!

Dude, I dunno if you wanna make young earth, old earth jokes in public. It may not go down well.

Go down well? That's the second day. Then God separated the waters. And he told the waters in the sky wait, must follow timing. Right now, if you fall, you won't go down well.

Our 18-week Bible Series begins this weekend with Creation. We'll be dealing with the age of the earth and other panas topics properly. No joke.

An unker from church once told me that it's the older folk who keep a community stable and grounded. To prove this, he said the ancient Hebrew term for "unker" and "anchor" is the exact same word. But of course! It's simple etymology! How did I miss that? Now I repeated this to a friend and she said sure or not? I said hundred percent. And this Sunday my pastor is preaching about how Jesus is my Unker and how he can unker you. She looked at me one-kind. Like, why, not good meh?

Now those are some nice lookin woods! They remind me of the time I walked through a rubber estate eating a mushy strawberry donut out of a paper bag. That day, I learnt that people don’t leave dustbins lying around in the middle of rubber estates. Or woods. (Wood you mind getting rid of this for me, o family of black ants?)

 

Well, it's a new year (yay) and trekking through it will be a lot like walking through the woods. Number one, you wanna throw all your rubbish away before entering. Ain’t no fun going the whole way with mess in your hands. And number two, but of course, make sure you bring in a tasty donut.

Daywatch: A holiday-themed, year-end, testimony-packed celebration of the year that has been.

Daywatch: A holiday-themed, year-end, testimony-packed celebration of the year that has been.

Daywatch: A holiday-themed, year-end, testimony-packed celebration of the year that has been.

Daywatch: A holiday-themed, year-end, testimony-packed celebration of the year that has been.

Daywatch: A holiday-themed, year-end, testimony-packed celebration of the year that has been.