Episodes
6 days ago
6 days ago
Bonjour! I see you are scanning the socials for what's happening on Mother's Day in church.
Ah, scanning — that's what mothers do to sniff out threats when they enter a room. I remember getting sniffed before. Not good memories.
Anyway, where was I? Mother's Day. Yes. It will be a Xena inspired Warrior Princess theme. Bring your mother because Pastor wants to inspire her with a sermon about Deborah and Jael bludgeoning evil men into the ground. A perfect message for those who are fierce and handle sharp tools more than once a day. Oh, and we have a photo booth where your mother can reenact chasing you with a battle axe. Like that time you didn't pass up your exercise book for three months and she eventually found out. Except back then she chased you with something else. This Mother's Day, give your mother the very best experience possible, and let her reenact it with an axe.
Sunday May 05, 2024
Bible Series: Anticipation - Pr. Fergus
Sunday May 05, 2024
Sunday May 05, 2024
Are we there yet?
Are we there yet?
I'm bored. Are we there yet?
I never said this out loud to my kids but the reason why I never answer them when they ask me "Are we there yet?" is because my name is not Yet. My name is Daddy. The logical assumption therefore is that they are talking to an imaginary friend called Yet. It's sweet to see your kids in such a happy-go-lucky place in life, talking among themselves and with their imaginary friends. Sometimes they even pretend to get annoyed with Yet. Such realistic actors.
As for the question itself, the answer is "Yes, we are there yet."
Sunday Apr 28, 2024
Bible Series: Return - Pr Fergus
Sunday Apr 28, 2024
Sunday Apr 28, 2024
One time, I came home from doing the groceries and I found someone else living in my house. They had redecorated the living room, repainted the walls and repaved the garden. Absolutely nuts. Of course, when I say “doing the groceries”, what I really mean is I got exiled for 70 years and had left my house vacant. But still… 70 years isn’t that long if you really think hard about it. It’s like a lifetime. It goes by just like that. Anyway, all that’s not the point. The point is that I finally came back. Amen to that. And I gotta learn to get along with those folks. Hmmm-what? They have to learn to get along with me? No, no, no. Firstly, I’m super easy to get along with. And no, this land is my land.
Sunday Apr 21, 2024
Bible Series: Exile - Rodney
Sunday Apr 21, 2024
Sunday Apr 21, 2024
So long, Jerusalem. They’re guilty as sin. The last two tribes enter into riddance. Their tarnished coat of arms, their bruises, aquired like muses, talismans and charms.
Kena kick
kick
kick
down bad.
Seventy years isn’t that long. It’ll go by like *snap a fortnight. Cos even Persia crumbles if it's made to wait. But then what? Fresh out of the slammer to return to what? Alchemy? Only God can fix them (No really He can).
Sunday Apr 14, 2024
Bible Series: Collapse - Pr.Fergus
Sunday Apr 14, 2024
Sunday Apr 14, 2024
Fee fie fo fum! I smell the blood of a ruler of Israel with no fear of Yahweh.
While their nations teeter on the edge of malfunction, the kings of Judah and Israel play political cat and mouse with the region. See, before the heart was an idol factory, all the idol factories were here. It was great business, and they made a killing: prophets, widows, orphans, it didn't matter who they slaughtered, as long as it helped them make gains. "Forget about Jehovah. What this world needs is for us to be powerful!" Erm guys. You're acting like Canaanites. Please repent. No, srsly. This has not been funny for a long time now.
Around that time, God hacked the whole beanstalk down.
Sunday Apr 07, 2024
Bible Series: Prophets - Pr. Athalia
Sunday Apr 07, 2024
Sunday Apr 07, 2024
Pray tell, what do prophets actually do? Exactly that. Pray and tell. They do a lot of telling-off too. So much, we gave it a number and called it "4 telling". (Or is it "4th telling"? I can never be sure.)
But anyways, they all get murdered by the state without putting up much resistance. Now I’ve too obviously set that up for an Easy Kill joke.
"I came. I saw. I konked."
That's more like it.
Sunday Mar 31, 2024
Live Forever (Easter Service) - Pr. Fergus
Sunday Mar 31, 2024
Sunday Mar 31, 2024
A sweet orange is good. So is a hot cup. And a cool breeze. A smooth pen on textured paper. Cut grass. Garlic in oil. Lazy afternoons. A proper workout. Levelling up. A stoppage time winner. Praise. A raise. Clever jokes. Chromatic chords. Clean sheets. Happy children. Fresh starts. No drama. But for how long? All that, all good, but for how long, before you turn the corner and it's gone?
Oh, do make it last. Wonder. Thrill. Safety. Laughter. Love. An endless outpouring. A torrential, neverending explosive joy. Glistening. Warm. Full. Fully alive. Pulsating. Live forever.
Friday Mar 29, 2024
Deliverer (Good Friday Service) - Pr. Fergus & Pr. Athalia
Friday Mar 29, 2024
Friday Mar 29, 2024
Hope. Trust. Wilderness.
Sunday Mar 24, 2024
Bible Series: Kings - Pr.Ramesh
Sunday Mar 24, 2024
Sunday Mar 24, 2024
God, can we be a constitutional monarchy with a sitting royal whose role is mostly symbolic, ceremonial, and sometimes as a check and balance for ill-composed federal governments? No?
Ok then can we be a republic with a two-party democratic system that polarises in political and socio-cultural ideologies, and in so doing, rend our nation in two across time? Also no?
Oh, how about a socialist state that is marketed to the masses as equality of all people but in reality is a living manifestation of the poor man's secret fantasies and hate for all bougie people? Still no??
Erm... Feudal system? With exploitative nobles farming out land to thuggish knights who farm said land to peasants who are made to work to the bone just to pay said knights protection money? Hmm, yeah I didn't think so.
Can we be led by violent military juntas that keep getting supplanted by other more violent military juntas? Wait that's too much like what we have now.
Can we just have a normal king then? Can? Please? Erm, God? Please?
Sunday Mar 17, 2024
Bible Series: Chaos - Pr Fergus
Sunday Mar 17, 2024
Sunday Mar 17, 2024
"Everyone did what was right in their eyes." You've probably heard this used on people having different lifestyle preferences, or business units having their own strategies. No, my friends. Hermeneutic tu kena jaga sikit. This was about total moral anarchy. Dystopian lawless chaos. You'd like an example? Sure. Moral anarchy is like the time my Standard 5 Moral teacher marked-down our ethically sound test papers because our answers didn't fit the 17 nilai utama and 50 sub-nilais. One of my classmates cut the buku teks into 12 pieces and had each piece sent to every classroom in our school. Naturally, we were threatened with facing the Guru Disiplin, which in some unorthodox Christian communities is the name of the seventh book of the Bible: Guru Disiplin. For the rest of us, it's called Judges.